Wants

There's a rhythm I cannot place

In poem or in single lines

There's frantic desperation too

One I need to find

To find what's it worth

What's life worth if no poems are pinned

The bulletin of internet crowding

Scratched by another broken someone

There's reason and then there's wanting

There's no explanation for need

When there's a list in my throat

When words scratch in my heart to be set free

I don't know the meter

I don't know the rhyme

I keep trying to be someone

Or something people can hide behind

But in the quiet of starlight

In the brightness of the moon

I ache against that want

A chill to caress my shoulder

A brush against my thoughts

Someone who would want to haunt Me

As thrilling haunting soul consuming love goes

I'm not an artwork babe

But the palette that mixed colours

A mess of attempts to make colour

Leftover stains from attempts before

Babe, I'm a drum set

I need you to sit and play me

I need you to dissolve in listening

Babe I'm the colours you need to paint with

I'm the sunset you need to find beauty in

I'm the bird you need to think is a spirit reincarnate

I'm a tree you need to caress the leaves on me

Touch gentle the scars on my bark

Breathe me in only wonder at my beauty

I want you to sit with me

Send me sparks of love for the shade I shadow you in

I want you to see through the mesh I put up to distort vision

I want you to come close enough to make sense of who I am

I want you to become the thunder that can split me

Only to direct fresh rain in my path

I want you harness all the world's storms

Only to send spring and sunshine where I stand planted

I want you fuck customs and rules when it comes to loving

I want you to be the record player of my dream

I want to dance in your silk symphony

I want you to be sunlight that can tattoo warmth down to my bones

I want to be too much

I want to cry and thrash and simmer down

A wave against your shore

But I never want to be the too much you can't take

I want to be the tingle down your spine

I want to know all the jokes that make you giggle

I want to memorise every stare of yours

I want to know what every twitch of muscle means

I want to know what nerves to touch and tread

I want to know your anger, the razor edges in your voice

I want you to pick a movie only to sleep on me

I want you to pierce realms to find me

I want you to bring me back to your side

I want you to burn away the darkest shadows in me

I want you to use ash from my fire and paint sidewalks with it

I want you to leave nothing untouched

I want you to pry out the blood stuck in my marrow

I want you to want me, to become the iron in me

I want you to call me yours and tell me we'll have the stars

I want you with me to face all the tomorrows I've feared

I want to save a smile only for you

I want to hum poems in the breaks we take with our kisses

I want to surrender sighs in your ears

I want to call you home

I want to look at the stars and see you

I want to find all the wonder in the world in you

I want to trace the magic in your soul

I want to channel and anchor your light

I want to go back to the magic in our veins

I want to still the shadows in you, with our darknesses combined

I never want to wonder why I ever tried

I never want to cut down my walls for your goodbye

I never want you to be the rhyme I can't place

I never want you to be the sentence I cannot make sense of

I never want to paint if your brushstrokes stand erased

I never want you to be the song that slipped from me

I never want you to be a melody I cannot trace

I never want my hands stained with your betrayal

I never want your taunts, from your place on my pedestal

I never want to question compromise

I never want our light to be a dull bulb, a faulty fixture

I never want me to second guess the lines of our anthem

I never want to find my strength colliding against you

I never want to see you crumbling before me

I never want you to twist my thoughts against me

I have all these wants, the tugs of desire undiscovered

And I'm still waiting for me

All this time, and I sit here, a rock beneath the waves

softly corroding, but still and waiting

For the gentle caress I know you'll slide over me

The times of forgiveness you'll bestow on me

The peace you'll paint me with

The gentle love you'll plant in me

Garden turned meadow of grass till the flowers bloom

The bed of quiet earth you'll become

The escape, godly garden you'll become for me

The quiet of your breath caressing my bare body

Fears erupting away from me

Abandoned ash volcano, I'll become a hill forest green

All of it, with you, through you, because of you

But until you come to me, like starlight brighter than the full moon

I will wait for you

I'll live deeply till you come

And then we'll take a plunge into our seas

We'll learn the meaning of live

We'll learn the truth of soul

We'll share the time gifted to us

We'll love like love unknown

Till then I'll wait for you babe

Our clocks the same, only ticking different

I'm right here till you need me

I'm right here for you to find me

I've been wanting You for quite some time, babe.