Satisfaction is Such a Tease

With boredom, violence becomes a game

Too many fathers not kind enough

Too many mothers making excuses for them

Too many boys acting a little too tough

Running towards inspiration

Reaching it with distaste

How easy was it to forget

The beauty lay in the chase

A laziness so motivated by fear sits in me

It thrives on the edge of self-destruction

Another piece of art I consume

Another word for me to forget

To realise my inherent loneliness

Trying to fight it is a fight still

Cannot get over how affected I am

Desire, the joker in the pack

One wrong word and I crumple like paper

Not pity, a seeker of love and maybe I will find it

But what if I do but I'm too bruised to do anything about it

The more I try, the better it feels not to

The harder I fight, the more I like to prefer losing

Give in, give up, dust off trying

Kiss failure on the lips

But then what?

Satisfaction is a tease

Failing is sleeping in wet clothes

Where do I get the energy from

When I'm losing all my good years

But were they ever good?

Or I'm painting them to be something they never were?

Because perfection is hard to touch

But seeking it is a drug

I'm going through my soggy years

And there's nothing else I can really do

But only to get through

Through is the only way

I can't help but ask

What is life about and what does it all mean

I seek confirmation like water darkens to be seen